Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I Bet You Didn’t See it on the News…

Alice Walker

I strive to do this most of the times, but today, I almost failed at my attempts at “finding the brighter side…”

As I get older, I realize that the thing I
value the most is good-heartedness.
— Alice Walker

    The week of love reverie that I started this week was drastically interrupted today with unsettling news. The type of unsettling news your heart senses is coming and leads you to fervently pray for your hubby and his comrades as you stand in your kitchen about to have your first cup of coffee. The kind of unsettling news that make you tuck your phone in the waist of your pants because you are sure you are going to get a call to confirm what your heart senses. This was my scenario this morning.   Although I hinted that we had entered deployment number 10 or 11 last year(I've lost count because there has been so many), my blog for the most part is devoid of the stresses of being a military spouse going through the umpteenth deployment.  As military families, we tend to be resilient and not show weakness.  We hate being pitied and at first glance, you probably think we have it all under control. However, that is a far cry from our reality.
     This brings me to the unsettling news that I bet you didn't hear about in the news.  When the call came like I sensed, it was brief and I learned that there was one fatality. I later learned that actually two heroes were killed and 4 of their brothers were injured. Though he is fine, my hubby was right there. I need not say more about the emotions that I have encountered today. On the day of departure for this deployment last year, one of the fallen heroes was with his family in the same parking lot as we were bidding farewell and sharing “see you soons…” And today my hubby had to place his body on a plane IN a CASKET.  

     I am disappointed that our heroes seem to not have a voice. I am disappointed to see people pretend there isn't a war.  I am disappointed that people don't care. The children, the families left behind are real.  All day today through intermittent tears, I watched my boys play and all I could see was their Dad. I saw his eyes in Z and little Ian is a muscle man just like him. I will not pretend and say I am fine because I am not. However, I will continue on in true military fashion.  I am very thankful for the outpouring love and support that I received via fb, twitter, texts, and phone calls this morning when I initially shared about the one fatality. That gives me hope to know that there are people who still give a damn.
  RIP to the fallen heroes and I pray for  full recovery for their wounded brothers. I also pray for the unsung heroes, the families of the fallen who are left behind. xx


  1. My dear.....all I can say is that I am overwhelmed with shock, but glad that your husband is safe. I hate war, pure and simple. I love the men and women who go out there for US, believing they are making a difference. I saw on the news the other day about a young veteran who is mamed for life. But in the interview, he said he would do it all over again for love of country and countrymen. I wept.

    My heart is with you. Anita

  2. I care and I have to hope and believe that everyone I walk amongst does also, that somehow we are just uncertain how best to express our concern and gratitude. I live in an area where I do see folks in the course of daily life in active duty uniform. Shopping, etc. I simply go up to them and say "thank you". No more than that is needed, they all seem to understand. I will keep the fallen heroes in your hubby's company - and all the heroes serving our country, and their families, in my thoughts and prayers.

  3. Oh Stacey that is so tragic, war is so cruel. I pray for you and your husband that he remains safe and you can sleep at night. I am sure you dont do much sleep during times like this. My heart also goes out to his friend and the family. I pry for a day when all our men can just come home. Once home be truly appreciated.
    Staya safe and warm.Karolyn

  4. I can' imagine what you and the other families go though. Your post was very moving and gave voice to this experience. I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband's brothers in arms, our fellow Americans. You and your husband and boys are in my thoughts and prayers, as well as their families. Michele

  5. Stacey -- I love your blog and your aesthetic. I just wanted to say that I simply cannot imagine what you are going through -- or what you go through with each deployment. My husband and I had a very rocky patch and were separated while I was pregnant with our second. Being a single parent was extremely difficult; doing it with that constant nagging fear must be excruciating.

    Please know that my family appreciates the sacrifice yours and so many others make. Your boys are SO LUCKY to have such incredible parents. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us.

  6. I really thank you for sharing this. Sadly you are right, this isn't talked about enough. I'm so very sorry for your husband and his fellow heros. My prayers are with that family as well as all military families. I also pray that they can all come home soon!

  7. Stacey, Thank you for starting this conversation. I'm wondering if you could share some organizations, if you know of any, that you feel are helpful to service members and their families. I'd like to know that I could do something, even if very small in the greater scheme of things, to help the men and women and their families who have put everything on the line to serve our country. My thoughts are with you and your family. -Caitlin

  8. Tears while reading this. Still thinking of him and sending love.

  9. You, your family, friends and fellow soldiers have my deepest sympathy. My heart goes out to the families that loose their loves ones in this war they are fighting for us all. Peace be with you.

    With my deepest prayers,
    Little Bitty Damn Houze

  10. Stacey,
    I'm glad you shared what's happening in your world. That is so much more serious than anything I encounter on a daily basis. First, happy that your husband is ok. But, so so sad to hear of these fallen heroes. My heart goes out to their families.

    Please know that there are many, many of us who appreciate the sacrifice that our military families make. Here's to having your love back home soon.
    xoxo Elizabeth

  11. Thanks for sharing this Stacey. I can only imagine what you go through on a daily basis and you're right - the brave things are military are doing get forgotten so often. I'm sending prayers to you and your family as well as all of the other military families affected by this tragedy.

  12. Just coming by to check up on you...are you OK my dear?

  13. You are in my prayers. I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through; if my husband is two hours late beyond the time he said he'd be home, I start to panic. But that feeling can never come close to what you had to endure today. Peace my dear. Anita

  14. I can't believe what I am reading Stacey and it is a very unprepared me, ashamed that I dint know things like this are actually happening and there should be more on the news so we can all be aware more!
    I am grateful there are such heroes to protect us and equally upset that they have to give up their lives sometime to do their job and protect us.
    Even more upset that we still deal with so much bad in our present world and when I hint on the Russian mafia in my recent blog ... All I think is the danger of all the non democratic and uncivilized parts of this world that we have to waste our energy and lives on!!
    It is not simple... And it is a huge relief to hear that your hero husband is not hurt! Please thank him on behalf of my family and we also want to thank you for being by his side and supporting him with your strength.
    Big kiss, z

  15. Stacey,

    I am so sorry to hear about this and pray for the families of those who were lost and also for your husband and his team members.

    I hate to say this but you are absolutely correct and I think it often myself, while our loved ones are off fighting for the freedom that many take for granted their sacrifice is not only unnoticed but also does not merit a mention on the news. It is so sad not only for those all over the world fighting but also for the families left behind.

    My prayers are with you your family and your unit as well as all of the soldiers around the world fighting so we can sleep peacefully at night.

  16. Stacey - wow. I'm so sorry. In connecting with you on instagram, I often have wondered how you do it. How you manage to find the strength and joy and just plain motivation to push through day after day. I have thought about expressing this, and I'm not sure why I haven't yet. I apologize for not articulating what an inspiration you and your family are. My prayers are with you and those affected - I mean, right now, I am uttering prayers of encouragement, of strength and peace and hope in the midst of the storm. Please know that you have a friend and cheerleader in San Francisco!


  17. Stacey,thanks for sharing ...
    I'm so sorry ... My prayers are with you.


  18. Oh Stacey, I am so sorry.
    I don't know how you stay as strong as you do, and I admire you for that. I am glad that your fella is okay, but I am so sorry for what both he, and you, are going through.

    Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, and him.


  19. My heart aches for you all Stacey... I know we try to live our lives as if nothing is going on in the world, but this kind of reality is just something that we all need to be reminded of each and every day. I salute all the soldiers and you, their families for the endless sacrifices and pain you have to endure for all of us.. I thank you and grieve with you dear, wish I could hug you right now...

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  21. I can hardly type through the tears. I read this all tensed up and bracing for the worst. And it was. While not your husband, he was someone's husband. That hurts a lot.

    It is hard for the general population to relate to the fears and pain of military families, Stacey. Our world is not okay. There is such prolific chaos and struggle happening in the majority's lives that it's easy to become detached from the war. But we shouldn't ever become so consumed by our own struggles that we don't look up long enough to recognize a sacrifice and a family's immeasurable heartache. That sacrifice and that pain is a shared one. We all owe a debt of gratitude and an ocean of respect to the serving and the fallen and especially the family of these men and women.

    I've watched a few military movies recently, both fiction and documentaries. The one that I felt did the best job at conveying the brotherhood and the family's price was Act of Valor. So much depth and unspoken pain conveyed without dialogue.

    Stacey, I can say that because I adore you and the boys, I'm soothed you will not have to experience the worst case scenario today. But I know he's affected and in turn, so are you. please know many, many people do care. We are afraid every day right along with you and every military family. My very deepest sympathies to your husband's comrades and the surviving families. Loving light to you, my friend. Loving light to you.

  22. So wonderful that you shared this today to enlighten those who are not military families and to remind us all to wake up. That solider is someone's son, husband, brother, dad, friend . . . We do care, Stacey. Please know that. I thank you, my family thanks you, from the depths of our heart for your service to our country.


Your comments are like my daily dose of sunshine. They brighten my day:-).